No, this isn't another diatribe on Charlie Sheen.
This is a different sort of creep: an insidious, almost sinister-like oozing of certain unwanted things, easing their way surreptitiously back into my life again.
I don't know if I should call it the 6 week itch or what, but there just seems to be a neverending cycle of certain bad habits starting to creep back into my life, just as you start to see some improvements again and are feeling great. For some reason the sneaky sabotage begins anew. I am speaking of this as though I had no control over it, but sadly, I am the one that gives permission to letting my guard down once, and then DOH! not putting it back up again.
Coffee intake has skyrocketed recently. I don't mind this so much as I still mainly wait till after lunch to kill the kidneys (so to speak) but I rarely stop at one now. I have discovered the official term for the type of coffee I now LOVE - it's a Mezzo Mezzo, meaning half & half. One shot of espresso with the same amount of milk, no sugar thanks. That's the Italian term, the Australian term is Piccolo Latte - a miniature Cafe Latte. And I love it so much, I can't get enough of it. And when I don't get it, I cry. Addiction much????
And that confounded bread! I love, love, love my Organic Markets but seriously the Sol Breads stand is killing me - Easy-Gest Hi Top, Hot Cross Buns, Pain-au-Chocolat, and the killer: Spinach & Fetta Calzone. They are all sourdough, they are all sugar-free, they are all made from spelt flour - so I shouldn't feel too bad should I? Oh, except for the massive gut-pain afterwards, and then the instant craving for more, more, more. And then there'll be the massive mood swing, the sudden irritation at the fact that none of my children or my husband get anything right, EVER. Oh yes, I know the pitfalls, I know the signs. But I still let it creeeeeeeeep in. Blah.
Oh, hahahaha, and the "only 2 pieces of 70% dark choc" with my cup of tea after the kids have gone to bed! Hello, where did that block of G & B go??? And oops, no 70% left so better just have the crappy Nestle cooking dark choc instead, or maybe some of those Cadbury choc chips ........ it doesn't even taste nice, yet, you gotta have something ........ anything, and look, I'm not even hungry. Oh, those mindless food traps - they kill me every time.
Salad? Fruit? Who can be bothered? Just as the bad stuff increases, the good stuff decreases. I'm lucky to shove a banana down in the mornings. And then I start sneaking stuff at 10:45. That's close enough to lunch isn't it? I wonder if I have the whole bear-hibernation thing going on. You know, the winter's coming, better start stocking up for the cold months ahead. I want loads of heavy, dark, chunky comfort foods, not light and breezy bits of greenery. I want deep intense cloying sweetness, not zesty bits of zing. Oh I know I am going to have to find a medium or things will really spiral out of control. I can't remember it being this way last Autumn but maybe, I just don't want to remember. Nothing I hate more than feeling the control slipping out of my hands ......
But, that's not the worst part of the creeping. It's those symptoms that's the worst of all. Such achey fingers in the morning. The dragging myself out of unconsciousness to put one foot in front of the other to make it to the gym in time (was I seriously bouncing out of bed, not 2 weeks ago???) Struggling to get up those stairs again afterwards. No interest or effort in gathering food for a healthy meal. Such utter & debilitating tiredness at 4pm. Losing my senses by 4:30. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ..................
Do I bother trying to detox before Easter, or let it all roll past and get on with life afterwards. Maybe, planting my Winter patch out the back, will be the revival I need? Maybe, seeing my little babies poke their heads out of the chocolate (oh, yum) earth will inspire me to get down with the greens again? Probably I should stop looking or viewing things through a highly imbalanced guilt complex, and start to realign the scales towards a more balanced view of food for the season to come. What works in Summer may not work in Winter and it's best to figure it out now than wait till everything comes unravelled.
I'm beginning to think the whole no-dairy thing is a bit of a loss. I haven't enjoyed my dabble in the almond milk/cashew cream arena so what's a girl to do? After reading more French-based cookbooks & literature lately, I am definately wanting to get into the yoghurt arena again - drizzled with some honey, nuts & seeds - that may be the more fulfilling snack mid-arvo that I need. Oh, and how quickly did I forget about Socca!!! My in-laws brought me back a recipe card from their trip to France for traditional Socca (not knowing I knew anything about it) and it all came flooding back to me - herb & garlic flavoured socca, crispy from the oven - loaded with pesto, greens, beetroot and avo. What a nice change from the old buckwheat crispbread!
So, here's to a fabulous Easter, some exciting garden growth and a more balanced (& always well-researched) view to eating warmly for the coming Winter!
PS Any help or encouragement kindly accepted :-)